sucks

Yep. It sucks!
Don't say that much, but it does.
After a week or two of struggling with what is probably just situational depression, i hear news of my own medical stuff that is blah. Higher cholesterol! Knew it was there but despite what I THINK was watching it, somewhat, it went back to going up. Which results in my Better Half going on worry - alert.

(Which i don't mind but it is like restrictions when i THOT i was doing restrictions. But i guess i do eat cheese n fats and food. But i do drink 0% milk. And don't eat sausage!)

No more FAST FOOD she says. okay can i drink soda only if we DO go to food??? (We HAVE been too ooooo much recently).

What it does mean is ....whole new fix. Change of the boring situation as it is...onto walking to the free Apartment GYM, some tries at walking "Down the Hill"....ouch...last and first time i tried that i was majorly not in a good condition!!!

Probably the worst part is my EGO --- I used to walk 3 miles....from No Bellmore down to the Bellmore train station some Saturday mornings (to get the LIRR to go to TUTOR). Or walking home to save the MTA $2 bus fare! Or walking down the hill in what, '05 from Herricks down to the Hillside bus. About 3 miles as well!? My day i biked FROM APU, my university to nearly BURBANK cuz i just needed to....! Crazy Frog. My insane 2 day bike ride from Long Beach / Bellflower to SAN DIEGO! Yeah, the HILLS OF ROME were the outrageous hills of La Jolla and those other Orange County places i no longer can remember. THE RIDE that i had trained for but had NO IDEA HOW HARD it'd be.....or the 50....*half century* they called 'em where i rode the Pacific Palisades. THE BIKING DAYS and days of glory as Springsteen used to call them.

I see the slide show flash by, my good ole days of being in shape and fit, and now i can barely get up and walk. It's true.

But (NOTE) once i do start walking i am ABLE to do it, and i can stand for a long time too.....

So, mabbe i will get my hairs cut....a tremendous CH CH CHANGE back to my short hair from the long hair? Mabbe i have to change just EVERYTHING?

I will ASK for 10-50 dollars worth of food that is 'healthy' to have around the house. Starting with VERDE? salsa verde.....cholesterol free... AND GUESS WHAT??? those tator tots we just got (We NEVER BUY frozen potatoes....almost never NEVER never) ...well, they are CHOLESTEROL FREE TOO!!! mmmmm???

back to education and re-education however about Sugar 'converting' to fats....and FATS converting to cholesterol??? cuz...hell, i was JUST watching only the cholesterol. when i did watch.

peace. blah.