The College YEARS

SUNDAY

September 16, 1984

Living in two worlds,
Is not the way to be.
Living in two realms,
Is Life uncomfortably.
Who are my “real” friends?
YEAH! Who am I to judge?
To whom do I draw nearer,
(Feel the Holy Spirit nudge?)

Living in two worlds, [this part had cross outs/ it still 'lacks' or does not flow]
We dream of Heaven,
because this is a hell,
We're in hell.

Confusion is not fun,
(Years from now we'll laugh)
There's no one solid place to run,
Each place a dot on the graph.

Guy! I'm finally standing firm!
(And there are so few with to share).

Phew! No more burden to bear!
(And yet there is greater,
the pressure's still on
or rather for ones been another
added or replaced
put in it's place
the debate over who'd my brother).

Chose a friend,
Lose a friend.
Do they “measure up”?
(To be the spiritual Giant Chart).
With Jesus will they sup?
Are they “worthy” of my friendship,
or Do I deserve them!
Where do I draw the line?
Am I thinking of Him?

I fulfilled my goal to transfer for 2 years to a Bible School. I wrote this in my senior or second year there, and just found it in the Bruce Baloin notebook, Life and Teachings of Jesus...Bruce was sort of a quiet HERO of APU, a non-hypocritical good dude. At Azusa Pacific, I really wanted to learn philosophy and Scripture from a Christo-centric perspective. At APU, I spent MANY hours sitting on a rock, across this small 'wash' / river by the Adams Hall, my dorm, praying to NOT be gay. I loved living on campus, but I traveled every weekend back home to Glendale, to visit my mom and unc, to teach Sunday school, to attend church, and to help lead the young adults Bible study group Sunday night. I either took the bus Monday morning, or drove my mom's (uncle's?) yellow Chevy Nova on surface streets or rode a 50cc red Honda motorcycle back to my University. It was at least a two hour trip one way.

In this old poem, I am

thinking of at my North Glendale United Methodist church and friends at college/ heaven & hell / heaven and the “world”.